Why “Just Push Through” Isn’t That Simple for Neurodivergent People

 And Why It’s Not Stubbornness, Laziness, or a Bad Attitude

“Just push through it.”
“Everyone struggles—you just need to try harder.”
“If others can do it, why can’t you?”

For many neurodivergent individuals, these phrases aren’t motivating. They’re misunderstandings.

While perseverance is often praised as a universal virtue, the reality is this: pushing through challenges is not experienced the same way by all brains. For people who are neurodivergent—such as those with ADHD, autism (ASD), or heightened nervous system sensitivity—“pushing through” can mean neurological overload, emotional shutdown, or long-term burnout, not growth.

This isn’t stubbornness.
It’s biology.

The Core Misunderstanding: Effort vs Nervous System Capacity

Neurodivergence affects how the brain processes stress, time, emotion, and energy.

For neurotypical individuals:

  • Stress increases effort

  • Effort leads to output

  • Output eventually brings relief

For many neurodivergent individuals:

  • Stress overloads the nervous system

  • Overload reduces cognitive access

  • “Pushing through” worsens performance

In other words:

The brake is being mistaken for the accelerator.

A Real Story: Simone Biles (Olympic Gold Medalist)

Simone Biles is one of the most decorated gymnasts in history. Yet during the Tokyo Olympics, she made the widely misunderstood decision to withdraw from several events.

The public reaction?

  • “She gave up.”

  • “She should push through.”

  • “Athletes are supposed to be tough.”

The reality:

  • She experienced the “twisties”, a neurological disconnect between mind and body

  • Continuing would have risked serious injury or death

  • She chose nervous system safety over external expectations

Simone didn’t fail.
She demonstrated self-regulation at the highest level.

That decision reflects a reality many neurodivergent people live with daily—minus the global stage.


Why This Is Not a Sickness (And Can’t Be “Cured”)

Neurodivergence is not an illness.
It is a neurodevelopmental variation.

  • ADHD, ASD, and sensory sensitivity are lifelong traits

  • There is no cure because there is nothing broken

  • The brain is wired differently—not incorrectly

What causes difficulty is not the trait itself, but:

  • Rigid work systems

  • Productivity culture

  • Emotional invalidation

  • One-size-fits-all expectations

Trying to “cure” neurodivergence is like trying to cure left-handedness.

Diagnosed vs Undiagnosed: The Hidden Majority

Globally accepted estimates suggest:

  • ADHD

    • ~5–7% of adults diagnosed

    • Up to 50–70% remain undiagnosed, especially women and high-masking individuals

  • Autism Spectrum (ASD)

    • ~1–2% formally diagnosed

    • Large numbers of adults—particularly females—are undiagnosed or misdiagnosed

  • Sensory Processing Sensitivity (HSP traits)

    • ~15–20% of the population

    • Not a clinical diagnosis → mostly unrecognised

In Singapore and many Asian countries, cultural pressure to “endure” and “not complain” increases masking and underdiagnosis.

Emotional Factors Often Mistaken for “Stubbornness”

What outsiders label as stubbornness is often:

  • Cognitive overload

  • Emotional flooding

  • Shutdown or freeze response

  • Decision paralysis

  • Fear of long-term burnout

Common internal emotions include:

  • Shame (“Why can’t I do what others do?”)

  • Anxiety (from prolonged pressure)

  • Guilt (for needing rest)

  • Grief (for not fitting expected molds)

These are not attitude problems.
They are stress responses.


Why Neurotypical People Struggle to Understand

Neurotypical nervous systems:

  • Recover faster from stress

  • Tolerate ambiguity longer

  • Separate emotion from task more easily

So when they say:

“Just push through.”

They mean:

“Apply more effort.”

But for neurodivergent systems, more effort can mean less access to functioning.

This is why advice that works for neurotypicals often backfires for neurodivergent individuals.

People Also Search online - FAQs:

Q: Why can’t neurodivergent people just push through challenges?

Because stress impairs access to executive function, not motivation.

Q: Is avoiding burnout a sign of weakness?

No. It’s a sign of self-regulation and long-term sustainability.

Q: Is ADHD or autism an excuse for not coping?

No. It explains how coping works differently, not why effort is absent.

Q: Why does pressure make me shut down instead of try harder?

Your nervous system is entering a protective response, not resistance.

Q: Is neurodivergence common among professionals in Singapore?

Yes, but many remain undiagnosed due to masking and stigma.

Q: Why do Singaporean workers feel exhausted even when successful?

High pressure, long hours, and limited recovery overwhelm sensitive nervous systems.

Q: Are there neurodivergent-friendly work styles in Singapore?

Yes—project-based roles, flexible hours, remote work, and autonomy-led models.

The Reframe That Changes Everything

Instead of asking:

“Why won’t you push through?”

The better question is:

“What conditions allow you to function at your best?”

Because real strength isn’t pushing until you break.
It’s knowing when pushing stops working.

Final Thought

Neurodivergent people are not stubborn.
They are deep processors living in shallow systems.

When environments change, their capacity doesn’t just return—
it multiplies.


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